Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Starting already...

Have you have had a moment where you felt like this?

That's me this week. Someone please find me this:

Not that I've ever taken it but I heard it does wonders for panic and anxiety. Something I am experincing. I've never felt like this before, or this bad.

I've always been the one to not sleep much but others will tell you different. They'll say that's all I do. I sleep better during the day. At night, I can't. I have strange dreams, I am up looking at the clock non stop, and then when I do fall asleep finally that damm alarm goes off! This week has been the worst!! I try to go to bed at 10 but end up falling asleep at midnight while reading a book. Then back up at 2:30 to read some more and then back to sleep at 3:30 then back up at 5:30 to get the day started. That's been my week so far. I haven't had a day off work since I am trying to make up for leaving early yesterday, to leave early on Friday so I can be with my baby for her birthday, and for my trip to Italy next week.

Birthday, ya that's got me stress in ways that shouldn't have me stress. She's gonna be 3 years old. No baby anymore :( But that's not what's really stressing me. I have to bake cookies for her class for tomorrow, bake 2 cakes (we are having the girls party together, which I am hating myself more and more since it's not fair to them but I thought my gma was coming in town, she not now), clean the house, prepare food for Sunday, prepare games for the kids, and did I say clean my house! Oh the things we do for our kids :) But I wouldn't trade it for anything!!

Italy, ya that's got me stress in ways you wouldn't believe! I am excited but the panic and fears kicked in on Monday night. What ifs....The plane crash, catches on fire, or blows up? My girls will not only lose their mother but their great grandma and their grandma. That means no women would be left in their circle of family. Well you got my mother in law but face it she not around. So who will take care of them? Who will teach them things? Who will shop for them? Who will teach them to cook? Who will...Dave assure me that my plane won't do that and if it does, he's got it under control...While I think that Dave's an AWESOME dad he's just not a women. But I am sure he'll figure it out I mean I've seen other guys do it...I am looking forward to making memories with my grandma and my mom. Something that I am sure that will never be replace or done again with the 3 of us. I will miss my girls dearly. Oh and Dave too :)

The race, ya that's got me stress in many ways!! Will I be able to complete it? Will I do it in my goal time 3.5 hours? Will I be able to cross the bridge and run in the tunnel? Bridges, I HATE them!! I think I can I think I can I think I can....Choo Choo....

But it will all be good and worth it in the end. Right?

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