Friday, December 19, 2008

Moving on...

So many things have been going on.

I didn't know if I should write about them or not....

I am losing my job. Well more like leaving my job. I am happy and ok with it now. But it's still sad and still hurts. My last day is March 1st but my last day in the office is Dec. 30th, and I am ok with that :) Will save money on Gas and lunch. And well ok, snacks and junk too!! But I will be a Stay At Home Mom earlier then I thought!! We had planned for me to quit my job in June/July but looks like I am getting my wish sooner.

On top of that we found out we were expecting!!! However, we are no longer expecting :( I lost the baby Monday night. It's been sad. While I am FOREVER greatful and thankful for my 2 little girls, it still hurts. However, tonight it's hurting me more then I thought it would. I had a wonderful time out with some of my co-workers. Office was closed and our last xmas party was cancelled however reschedule :) But we still went to see Wicked - BEST SHOW EVER. But it hit me tonight while I sit here, that we won't have exciting news to share with my grandma like we had planned. I miss expecting all ready. We tried so hard for this baby too. Normally I don't have that problem, but this time we did. When I found out back in November I was just jumping for joy!!! Now I am sitting sad. While I know things happens for a reason I don't understand it. I don't understand why God is giving me this year to have the reason for everything :) Trusting me much...I swear I can't take anymore bad news and from this point forward it's going to be all good stuff otherwise if before Sunday when we fly out I hear another bad thing, I am walking to Florida. Not taking my chance with that plane. ;)

Other then that good things are happening. Girls are getting bigger, smarter and brater (oops did I say that out loud?). No, they are a joy to be around and we are having fun with them!! Dave's loving and busy with school. Me, well just laughing my way thur life I guess :):) I have so many projects to start in the New Year. Now I'll have even more time. 1st thing 1st, cleaning out the basement - everything will go. Yeah Right>!>! I am going to learn how to sew. Going to start doing some more charity work. Oh yeah, spend more time with the girls!!!! I have so many plans for us, I can't wait.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Adrianna being funny before going out!!

My little puppy

Snow White

The girls together

Me and the girls. Dave was at school
So I thought were going backwards in time but I am actually jumping all over the place. This year we did Halloween at my friend Mel's house with our family. My mom and dad joined us again this year and walked the whole time with the girls. Someone even had a haunted house built into their house for the kids. How cool was that?!?! The kids had so much fun. The only sad thing is that Dave (his fav time of the year) wasn't with us as he was at school. It was such a warm night too and made it even more fun. We had a pot luck dinner and of course some drinks. I was pretty good on the candy control. My girls didn't get as much as they normally do but that's good in my eyes since I didn't want that junk in my house this year :)
Adrianna picked out Snow White and I would say she was the cutest Snow White EVER!! She loved her high heels that she wore but kept saying my feet hurt. Everyone got a kick out of it.
Gabriella was a Puppy and of course the cutest one out there EVER!! She just loved sitting her wagon and having people get her candy then eating it as soon as it hit the bucket! She was a little nervous at 1st but once she saw the candy and got the idea she was all about Halloween.
I was a pumpkin and not by choice! But it was fun :) And a good laugh. Perfect way to end October 08.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Going Backwards

So we are going to go backwards in time and I am going to start with most current stuff/pictures.
October 29th - Stoney Creek Park

We had some family pictures done by my "mom" friend Jess. She did a great job and I have a hard time picking out which one is my fav. We had so much fun that day with Jess and her boy Austin.

That day we learned a few new things and got over a few fears to!

We learned that Stoney Creek Park had a Nature Center with trails. Such a AWESOME place to check out. We'll be going back for sure!!
We learned some interesting facts about animals - Thanks to Jess!!!

Adrianna got over her fear of Heights and climbed some pretty big trees.

We learned that Daddy knows how to climb trees and not just your basic climbing I am talking actually climbing!
Gabriella...we pretty much knew, that she's not afraid of anything, loves everything, and has NO fear of anything!!

Here are some pictures :) Enjoy!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Been a while

It's been a while since I've post. So much has happened that I am going to have to post an update sooner or later but for right now we'll keep it short and sweet :)

December has arrived. In our house the tree and decor have been put up. However, this year we did it differently. Last year the girls helped us this year we put them to bed and did it alone. It was much needed between Dave and I. And it was a HUGE surprise when the girls woke up from nap time and saw the tree!! They were so excited, you would have thought I bought home a pony or something lol :) I did my tree different this year too. (we are on the different kick this month). Normally I do just plain color Ornaments. This year, I pulled out the ones that we've gotten as gifts as newly married couple, 1st home, 1st baby 2005, 1st baby 2006 and some as Xmas gifts. I normally don't LOVE those kinds but this year I do LOVE them. My tree ROCKS may I say. I never say that. This year I love love love my tree and stare at it every night. I tell Dave every night I love the tree, he just laughs.

So our house is all ready for Xmas with snow and everything. The outdoor stuff is out and lite and looks GREAT. Thanks to my wonderful husband. The only thing missing is gifts under the tree. Because the girls are so excited we can't put any under the tree, they think they can unwrap them.

Happy December everyone!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

WoW so behind

Wow I am so behind on updating! So much has happened since coming home from Italy.

I've yet to upload my photos from my trip!

Came home Friday, ran my race on Sunday. Need to get pictures from those too! I did awesome if you don't mind me saying. 13.1 miles at 3 hours 19 mins. Came in 9th in my age group! Hey, not bad top 10 :) And I beat my own personal goal of 3 hours and 30 mins :) I would have done better but I felt the need to help someone else cross the line. She had an injury hip and was alone. It felt better to help someone then be selfish!

Monday, found out that I can't drive day or night.

Tuesday, Dad had an heart attack.

So from Tuesday till Friday, we all sat on pins and needles to see if my dad would be ok. He came home Friday and couldn't have surgery. I'll post more on this later. He'll be ok if he stops smoking and lowers his stress.

Sat. night we went out with some friends. Had a nice time for a change after this crappy week.

Sunday spent the whole day with my parents and hanging out.

Well there is more to post and I'll be back with some pictures and stories.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Birthday Party Pics

We had a joint party for the girls. I said I would never do it. And I won't EVER do it again :) While it was a fun party it was hard to focus on both of them at the same time. How do those with twins or more do it?? It was meant to have a joint party for my grandmother who lives in FL but she ended up changing her plans on when to arrive and miss the party... ENJOY

PS I swear I did their hair cuter. Somehow, they got messy and didn't look how they did 2 hours before all the pictures were taken ;)
PPS I would totally have my girls in dresses at their party. BUT I had a couple of good reason why they weren't in dresses. :) My 1st "real" cake. I need to practice more! lol But everyone loved it I guess! lol
My aunt giving the girls their gift! (it was the hit of the party!)

I swear I didn't give this hat to Adrianna! The school did and she HAD to wear it!! lol And if you look hard you'll see Gabriella blowing her candles out too!

Out of all the presents this kid got, this was her fav!! She loved loved the picture frame and the picture in it. Silly kid!

Lost and Found

Over the past few weeks or months I feel I've lost myself in a pile of mess. I've been dealing and facing some ugly facts about my life and what's in the future. While it's not all bad stuff it's just not fun stuff to deal with. I am glad this trip to Italy has been booked. I need this time alone. I need to think. I need to remember who I am. I need to spend time with my mother and my grandmother. Just us 3 women. I know we are going to have fun. I know tears are going to be shed. I know laughter is going to be heard. I know we are going to have the best time together. And I am pretty sure it's going to make our bond even stronger.

This week, I've learned that I might have Usher Syndrome.
I spent most of yesterday at the doc office with Dave...Crying...I think I stopped listening when she said this could lead to blindness. My heart broke into a million billions pieces. All I thought of was were my babies. Today however, I had to go downtown Detroit and see another doc for another test. The test entitle me to sit in the dark for 30 mins alone. I am telling you that was the longest 30 mins I've ever sat in my life! The most powerful 3o mins.

While sitting there, I talked to God. Actually, yelled at him more like it. Not out loud of course, since I am not sure if they were watching me from another room and I didn't want to get put down at the psych ward ;) Anyways, I sat there getting mad. Asking him, why he felt he needed to do this to me and maybe to my brother too (he's having eye issues as well). Wasn't it bad enough that our hearing was taken away from us? Now our eyes sights??? While getting mad, I realize that I am lucky. I can hear with an aid and I can still see. So I should be thankful right???

I am struggling with this along with other things. Where I should be in my life? Am I a good enough mother to my girls? Wife to Dave? Daughter to my parents? Sister to my brother? I am struggling with my relationship with my brother and it's getting harder and harder everyday. I want different things then he does. Granted, I am married, have 2 kids and almost 7 years older then him. He's 21 years old, not married, no kids and has no clue who he even is and where he's going with life. I should understand that but I can't right now. I am struggling with friendships. Some old friendships have left my life and while I'll never get their friendship back, I miss them. Some old friendship are still part of my life but it's not the same. Some friendships I should be letting go and I can't. And some I have right here in front of me and I feel I am not doing a great job being a friend back to them.

Dave starts school when I return back home, I am looking forward to it. We need our routine back in our house. And he needs to get out of the house :) While I love love love my husband, he needs to get out! He's been home since Sept. all day and night. I am thinking once he's back out of the house in the evening, I'll start coming back around and out of this funk.

I guess I should get back to packing and some rest as tomorrow will be a long day!!

Friday, October 3, 2008


Tonight what was going to be a nice night out with my daughter to celebrate her birthday ending up being one of my worst nights. I was hurt so bad, that I don't think anyone could hurt me as bad as my heart is hurting right now.

I am thankful for the friends and family I do have that helped me get thur tonight. I am just sorry that I had to cry in front of my girl. However, seeing her face when we got home and seeing Daddy putting her bike together made my night 100 times better!

Sometimes growing up sucks. You find out who your real friends are. You find out some aren't so good and some aren't so nice. But then you find out that you DO have some that are GREAT and would go an extra mile for you. Tonight I did a lot of Soul Searching. In fact it's something I've been doing for a while. I thought I was finding my spot and reaching an good point in my life but tonight I think I've been broken again. Along with finding out who your real friends are you start losing sight of those who are good friends for you and sometimes it's too late to get them back in your life. I have a few of those friends. Some I've hurt and some who've hurt me.

All I can say if I hurt any of those who are out there and were my friends and I made them feel the way I feel tonight, I am so sorry. I would never want to hurt someone like that. I want them to know that I am deeply sorry for hurting you and I do miss you.

A few hours

3 years ago today in about a few hours I was about to be a mom for the 1st time at!!!

In a few hours my world was about to change for the better.

In a few hours it would not be just Dave and I.

In a few hours we would be adding a new member to the family.

In a few hours we would be holding a 7lbs 7oz little girl name Adrianna Rachel-Marie...

Happy 3rd Birthday baby girl :) Mama loves you more then you'll EVER realize!! The love I have for you, will be something that NOBODY can take away. You've grown into a wonderful, beautiful, smart, caring, loving, sweet, stubborn little women. You've bought so much joy in so many peoples lives. You are one of the most caring 3 years old that I know. On this day today 3 years ago, you've made my life a much more happy place to be. I will never forget the moment you came out of me and when the 1st time I've held you in my arms. I am pretty sure, Daddy, Grandma, Papa, and Aunt Tina will never forget this day too. :)

Daddy and I love you more then heaven and earth from hell and back. Happy 3rd Birthday!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

On this night at this time

I was telling Dave, "I think it's time to go!"

Time to go where...To have a baby.

That day 3 years ago today we were at Upland Farms going on a Hayride. I thought hey that should help me get things moving. It did a little. Then we went to Great Lake Crossing. Dave was at Bass Pro Shop and I was on the other side of the mall, contractions started. They were so bad that I was falling over by the trash and people were staring. Finally some guys came up to me and asked me if I was ok. Of course, I am not...I am about to pop out a kid!! I couldn't get Dave to answer his phone to come back over to my side. Finally they stopped, I walked, oh who am I kidding, ran back to Bass got Dave and said we gotta go home. Grabbed a hot dog on the hot dog stand and went home. Contractions went away.

9pm, Desperate Housewife came on. My contractions were 5-7 min apart, but I wouldn't leave till the show was over! The showed end, I called and they said to go on in! We called my mom, she said she would meet us up there after she knew I was going to be admitted (after all it was my 3rd time back there). Dave was driving so slow, I swore I could have killed him.

We got there, went in, they said "Nope you aren't ready. You are only a 2 close to a 3 but not thinned out enough." I was so upset. I mean I was 5 days over due, I just wanted my baby. I remember getting ready to get dress again to leave, waiting for my paperwork, and the nurse came in and I threw up my hot dog! She said "Yup, we are keeping you. You are ready!" Thank god for that hot dog!! My baby was going to be born!!!

Got in my room, got ready, and waited...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Starting already...

Have you have had a moment where you felt like this?

That's me this week. Someone please find me this:

Not that I've ever taken it but I heard it does wonders for panic and anxiety. Something I am experincing. I've never felt like this before, or this bad.

I've always been the one to not sleep much but others will tell you different. They'll say that's all I do. I sleep better during the day. At night, I can't. I have strange dreams, I am up looking at the clock non stop, and then when I do fall asleep finally that damm alarm goes off! This week has been the worst!! I try to go to bed at 10 but end up falling asleep at midnight while reading a book. Then back up at 2:30 to read some more and then back to sleep at 3:30 then back up at 5:30 to get the day started. That's been my week so far. I haven't had a day off work since I am trying to make up for leaving early yesterday, to leave early on Friday so I can be with my baby for her birthday, and for my trip to Italy next week.

Birthday, ya that's got me stress in ways that shouldn't have me stress. She's gonna be 3 years old. No baby anymore :( But that's not what's really stressing me. I have to bake cookies for her class for tomorrow, bake 2 cakes (we are having the girls party together, which I am hating myself more and more since it's not fair to them but I thought my gma was coming in town, she not now), clean the house, prepare food for Sunday, prepare games for the kids, and did I say clean my house! Oh the things we do for our kids :) But I wouldn't trade it for anything!!

Italy, ya that's got me stress in ways you wouldn't believe! I am excited but the panic and fears kicked in on Monday night. What ifs....The plane crash, catches on fire, or blows up? My girls will not only lose their mother but their great grandma and their grandma. That means no women would be left in their circle of family. Well you got my mother in law but face it she not around. So who will take care of them? Who will teach them things? Who will shop for them? Who will teach them to cook? Who will...Dave assure me that my plane won't do that and if it does, he's got it under control...While I think that Dave's an AWESOME dad he's just not a women. But I am sure he'll figure it out I mean I've seen other guys do it...I am looking forward to making memories with my grandma and my mom. Something that I am sure that will never be replace or done again with the 3 of us. I will miss my girls dearly. Oh and Dave too :)

The race, ya that's got me stress in many ways!! Will I be able to complete it? Will I do it in my goal time 3.5 hours? Will I be able to cross the bridge and run in the tunnel? Bridges, I HATE them!! I think I can I think I can I think I can....Choo Choo....

But it will all be good and worth it in the end. Right?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

5 years ago

5 years ago, seems like yesterday. ..

5 years ago, I had Amy, April, Beth, Tina, Kelly, Jamie, and Charlene all around me helping me slip into a white dress.

5 years ago, my dad was looking in the yellow pages trying to find us a limo and not telling me so I wouldn't freak out.

5 years ago, my mom made us do shots at 8 am to start the day off.

5 years ago, my mom handed me a ring that I will forever cherish dear to my heart - her mothers diamonds a grandma that I will never met.

5 years ago, my brother handed me an letter and $100 - telling me how much he loves me.

5 years ago, my dad was sitting on the couch in his tuxs smoking a cig and looking at me like I was still 12 years old in a white dress.

5 years ago, a video guy and a 2 photographers were taking up my parent's room.

5 years ago, I hopped on a bus that look like a Grey Hound from outside but a tour bus from inside and singing with my girls :)

5 years ago, I sat and waited in the crying room at the church with my girls waiting for my dad to get me.

5 years ago, my dad came in and got me and asked me "Are you sure you want to do this, we can run you know?"

5 years ago, I told him "Don't look at me, I'll cry. And I can't run in this dress, it's too hot outside and the shoes will break my ankles, silly."
5 years ago, I walked towards you, my father gave his little girl to you and said "Take her, I am done".
5 years ago, when my father gave me to you, he gave you a girl with a big heart who had more room to add a guy like you in it. He gave you part of his soul, his little girl.
5 years ago, he gave me the best gift a women could ask for. He gave me you!!!

In 5 years, we've traveled, moved from apt to condo to a house, we made 2 wonderful little girls, we've lost jobs, gained new jobs, failed jobs, gone on pretty rough roads, but always had each other love.

Thank you Dave for the BEST 5 years a girl could ask for!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I love Fall. One of my favorite time of the year. I love days like today. Perfect weather and perfect time to go shopping for fall items!

We've been super busy around here. School is in full swing. Dance is starting up this week. MOMS started back up today. I am back at the gym full time and loving every min. of it (ok not every min.). I signed up for a new class at the gym and it's totally kicking my ass. Beach Body it's called. The women is EVIL that is teaching the class. I could barely after Monday night class and after yesterday class I can barely bend my arms.

G started her 1st dance class on Wed. It was the cutest thing ever. However she wasn't in the greatest mood. It's one of the 1st things she ever done without her sister around. It was nice for a change to have time alone with G. On the other hand I think we'll put her down for her nap earlier since she was rushed to get to dance from waking up from her nap. She is doing 15 min of Ballet and 15 min of tap. So cute!! She was a little lost on why her sissy wasn't there and why she had me alone. A lot of changes for G this year. She gets 2 day alone for 4 hours while sister is in school. 1st day she didn't know what to do with herself and didn't talk much. But now she loves having daddy to herself and time to play with her toys w.out sharing! We are going to give Dance another month and see if she likes it.

A loves school and wants to go everyday if she could. She's learned so much since going. She's potty trained expect at night and I am so proud of her. She did it on her own and learned very quick. She starts her dance class on Sat. and I am sure she'll love every min of that too. We've been busy doing arts and crafts this month. And learning new songs.

Both girls have been busy on Mondays with story time at the library. We've been doing a lot of stuff outside with both of them and the dog. Oh the dog, she's doing GREAT. We love her to death and so happy she could fit right in our home. I have my moments with her since she does love to chew on my stuff only but she's learning.

Dave's now laid off and home with us more. But that will change in Oct. when school starts up.

well off to spend some time outside. We are having a bonfire tonight and cooking out on the grill. Have a great day!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Happy Birthday to me and billy

Not the greatest pic of me but hey it's Billy :)

More to be posted later!!!

Saturday, August 30, 2008


I am so upset. I don't know why but it's upsetting me.

Tonight was going to be a all girl night out and out to the beer tent and bar. Instead I changed my plans so that my friend and her husband and kids could come over. Get all excited that she's coming over and then last min cancelled. It's upsetting and hurtful. We were going celebrate my birthday and of course now we aren't. We always go and celebrate their birthdays and when it comes to mine we never do. :(

She's going to a family party I guess and it was planned last min. I understand family is more important to friends but it still hurts.

Well at least I am going to be party it up with other friends of ours and we'll be sure to have a GREAT time!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Motherhood, Wife, and Friends

I notice that I always post about my girls and less about my husband and myself.

Not that I have much news to share. Life been busy. My work schedule has changed and I am excited about it. But a little nervous at the same time. I'll be working 2 days a week and long days. But that give me 5 days home with my girls :) I am back at the gym and loving every min of it. Been busy with the girls and getting my runs in.

Dave has been accepted to MIAT and we couldn't be more excited about it! He'll start in Oct. and will graduate in May 09 :) Then he'll be heading off to a new job and hopefully we'll be moving to a new state.

Lately, I've felt very alone. Trying to figure out where I want to go in life. I feel that my kids are walking all over me and taking me for granted. (yes i know they are 1 and 2) but they know what they are doing! Dave and I have been on different schedule and barely have time for one another. On top of that I am starting to doubt some friendships of mine. I should head back to Church because I think that is where my answers are at waiting for me. I start back up at MOMS in 2 weeks and I am happy for that. I miss my weekly meetings with other moms at my church. This year I will be Co-Leading the group with a friend of mine. It should be fun.

This weekend is my birthday weekend. Not that it's anything exciting because half of the people I know ended up cancelling on hanging out. However, I am going to make the best of this weekend. Tonight I am babysitting my friends baby so that she and her husband can get out. I can't wait since he's a newborn and a boy. Something different :) Tomorrow, I will get up and walk 7.5 mile and then head off to the gym to meet a friend for lunch and swim. After that we are having people over to hang out and chill before the summer ends :( Sunday, I'll be heading back to the pool for a bit to hang out alone. Then I am taking a friend of mine son and herself to Billy Ray Cryus. Not my idea of a GREAT concert but it will be fun since it's her son 1st concert!! Mondays plans are up in the air. I am sure we'll be doing some yard work.

Tuesday morning I'll be crying in the parking lot as Adrianna will start pre-school and I'll be turning 28! Then off to work and not sure what the evening plans are :) Hopefully my parents will want to take me out to dinner with the kids!!

Have a great weekend!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Hold on..Life going too fast

How did this happen?

How did she go from this:

To this:

and how did this happen?

To this?:

Someone needs to stop and let time sit still for a moment. My girls are just growing and going to fast!!
Adrianna is signed up for Pre-School!! I am so sad and excited at the same time. She is ready for this. I couldn't put it off for another year. She'll be going for 4 hours 2 days a week. She's more then excited. I love the school. Although it's not thur our hometown schools it's still in our area. I love that they have only 6-8 kids in their class room. Adrianna is also potty trained now :) Yeah for no more diapers but again another milestone that has been reached. She's on her way of asking Who, What, Where, Why and How? I love it and hate it at the same time. She's starting to ask people what their name is and telling people who we are. So much has changed in the last few months. Again, what happen??
Gabriella is talking in full blown sentences. LOVES to sing! Just loves it! She's counting all the way up to 10, sings ABC and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and a few more, she's into dancing as much as her sister and will be taking classes this fall. :) I am trying to find something to do with her and I while Adrianna is in school. I am looking forward to spending one on one time with her! She is right behind her sister with the Potty Training (I am in no hurry). She tells me when she is wet and when she poops. She goes on the potty after her sister goes on the potty. She loves doing whatever Adrianna does but she still is her own person. Again, how did this happen??
Please slow down...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Our Trip

After delivering a baby, we left for FL. We went to see my grandma the girls Nana. She's been having a hard time since Grandpa passed away in April and we thought what would be better then having us all down there :) Dave actually got to go this time! We had a great family trip. We didn't do anything too exciting for once. We actually swam in the pool a lot, napped, read, played at the beach, saw some dancing at the beach, swam in the ocean, got to see dolphins in the ocean (so exciting!!) and eat. Nice relaxing vacation with no plans!!

The girls got asked to go upfront!! But of course I felt rushed and my camera didn't take the best pics!! But they were up there for a good 5 mins and got to touch some of the stuff!
My husband and his goofy ass smile.
Adrianna swimming alone!!
the best pic I could get of the dolphins since they are fast!
Family photo on the beach!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


If you've never witness a birth I highly suggest you try to do so.

I, on the other hand got to witness one last week on 07/30/2008. One of the most amazing moments ever. A friend of mine asked me to join her and her husband and take photos. At 1st I thought it was a joke. But she was serious. I am so glad I did. I am still working on the photos but I'll post some that I have anyways.

We checked in on 07/29/2008 and got some sleep. She started laboring off and on though out the night on her own!

She delivered on 07/30/08 her birthday as well. 10:02 am a 9lbs 7oz baby was born. Baby Reece! He's a doll. Next to giving birth to my kids and marrying Dave this was one of the best days I ever had! I am still high on it. It makes me want to go to school and become a nurse for Labor. However, I could never put a needle in someone :)

A bond between 2 friend, 2 mothers, and 2 women will never be the same. The bond between baby Reece and I will be something I won't be able to explain to others. I get it now. I get all of it. I know why God put us here to do this.

I thank God everyday for allowing me to be part of something I never thought I would get to be a part of. Thank you....

Don't mind me. I didn't really sleep!